we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
