Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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