I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
