Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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