So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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