just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
