One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
