Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I puked a lego.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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