i think i have two assholes
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
