like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize