My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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