It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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