Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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