But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize