Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
