I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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