Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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