You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
