Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
