i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
