Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
