Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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