i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
