Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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