the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
