Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
