Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
