I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
How's work?
Spinning.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
