Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
