That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
