why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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