Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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