Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
