So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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