I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
