Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Someone shit on the floor
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
