1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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