I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
