So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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