Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize