Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
