You made me cry and you don't even care
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
