That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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