i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
