the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
