is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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