haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
