Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
