i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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