He kissed a someone with a penis
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
