He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
