so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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