I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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