the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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