Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
