i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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