I don't usually arrange sex via text message
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
