Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
