If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
