can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
