I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My cat gives me a boner
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
