we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
