Your face is a jimmy john
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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