Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize