A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
